The Identities We Don't Know We Have

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e23transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

Summary:

I've spent a lot of time thinking about the parts of myself I didn't have language for until later in life. In this recap episode of I Must Be BUG'N, I sit with that feeling after my conversation with Patrick Casale MA LCMHC, an AuDHD therapist who didn't discover he was autistic until he was 35 years old.

I ask the question that stays with me long after we stop recording: what does it cost us to grow up without the words for who we are? Autistic kids become autistic adults, yet somewhere along the way, the support just stops. I trace that gap, and I trace something harder to admit that Patrick names outright - the way ableism lives inside the neurodivergent community itself, shaping how we judge our own diagnoses before we even accept them.

I follow that thread into reflecting on Patrick's thoughts on addiction, and how a search for connection can pull someone toward rooms that aren't necessarily safe. I land on the idea that keeps pulling me back in every conversation like this one: diagnosis doesn't just explain a person to themselves. It changes how they get loved. It completely changes the probability some relationships can survive.

This episode is for anyone who's ever felt like a stranger in their own story - and for anyone ready to meet themselves for the first time.

Key Topics:

• Conversations can deepen our understanding of ourselves.
• Many neurodivergent individuals realize their identity in adulthood.
• Resources for neurodivergent adults are limited compared to children.
• Confronting ableism is crucial for self-acceptance.
• Addiction often stems from a desire for connection.
• Understanding one's identity can improve relationships.
• Teaching about neurodivergence should include all ages.
• Self-discovery is essential for personal growth and accessing all of the joy available to us

Stay in Contact with Patrick Casale:

• Follow Patrick on IG: https://www.instagram.com/patrick.casale
• Subscribe to the "AuDHD Journeys": https://patrickcasale.substack.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com
• Check his full Linktree: https://linktr.ee/patrickcasale

Resources and Links:

• Video of comedian Ron Funches speaking about how he found out he was autistic: https://www.instagram.com/p/DdTrMTzJN5D/
• Patrick Casale's TEDx "Lessons from a late in life autism discovery ": https://youtu.be/hyImqW69OY4?si=yeo1bjgn5rvcx0AM
• "My Name is Pauli Murray" documentary: https://www.amazon.com/My-Name-Pauli-Murray/dp/B09DMPMWCP
• Johann Hari's TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong
• My episode on the "Divergent Conversations" podcast with Patrick and Dr. Meg: https://www.divergentpod.com/blog/ep-84

Helpful Links:

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted self-discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

Keywords

neurodivergence, autism, ableism, addiction, relationships, self-discovery, identity, mental health, awareness, personal growth

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

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